Woman Yells at Algorithm
I used to love Instagram. I used to enjoy social media. With a few exceptions, those days are no more. These days, I like my media in long form: excellently written television, movies, stories. So it’s not much of a surprise that this blog is forming the basis of Allez Skate’s Media Footprint (TM).
But as a budding new brand, it is with great apprehension that I feel the need to open the Instagram app on my phone and look for an appropriate photo to post. For marketing. For SEO. To prove to the gods and Google alike that Allez Skate is real, even though right now it’s just its own quiet corner of the internet fronted by a one-woman outfit.
At least it’s mine.
Take that, Zuck.
It’s not that I think social media is bad, per se, it’s just that it actually is. It’s a strange position for me to land on as a former enjoyer of the landscape. I never actually had any bad experiences to speak of during my time as an active participant on these platforms as a regular person in the years B.B. (Before Brand).
Albeit I have always been inclined towards participation on social media as a creator more so than as a consumer. I like making stuff; stuff is great to post on social media, especially if it’s inconsequential or a bit stupid (my specialties!). People talk about how bad social media is for body image, for confidence, and more; but that was never my personal experience. I met nice people online. We commiserated. I always felt good about myself as a person, and supported.
Wild, I know.
And yet I’ve still grown allergic to the concept, probably because I’ve also been backstage as a marketer in my previous job. This has jaded me. I know what it’s like to spend hours poring over content, agonizing over the perfect hook and call to action, dancing for proprietary algorithms that shift with the weather and always, always get shittier and shittier for everyone involved except for Meta or ByteDance or whoever else.
And of course these concepts are not unique to social media; they are part of the greater world of advertising, so they’ve never been far from the consciousness and they are certainly not going away any time soon.
Denham’s Dentifrice, Denham’s Dentifrice.
Oh, before I forget: go ahead and follow @allezskate on Instagram. I’ve been trying not to let the cynicism bleed from every post, which has up until now rendered it bland and safe. Unlike here.
Hm, maybe I can change that. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to let the cynicism bleed in.
I’ve always envisioned myself professionally as a kind of modern-day Peggy Olson in Mad Men, strutting down the hallway of Sterling Cooper & Partners on my way to my new office with an obscene Japanese painting slung under my arm, sunglasses on indoors and a cheeky cigarette at the corner of my mouth (hey, it was the 60’s).
The 2020’s version of this picture surely excludes the cigarette, and the only strutting happening around here is me in my dang leggings in my office, but the feeling is about the same. Cooking up something good. Doing it my way. Being a real modern girl in a modern world.
That is, until I realize it’s time to make another sacrifice to the Algorithm Gods. So they get what they get. A backlit photo of a friend from a sunset slalom session. A sweaty screen grab of a video clip where I think I look sort of good, or at least good enough. No perfect hashtags, no effort that is not for me but for some billionaire. No bullshit AI-written captions. No AI-written anything, for that matter.
Fuck that.
Gone are the days when I used to gleefully drape my eyes in colorful eyeshadow and take uncomfortably close photos to capture the sparkle to post. Scrolling to comment in the hopes that someone would comment back. Watching video after video (just one more!).
Going from consumer to consumed.
I won’t work for these people for free. Why should I give them my best photos, my best jokes, the very best I can do, and most of all my time? These companies don’t deserve my best. They don’t deserve my anything at all.
But still, they persist.
I wish it made sense to delete Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and simply exist without them. But they’re important proof-of-life for a company, which Allez Skate ultimately is. And who knows, I may need them later. I’m going to need to advertise.
For now, you’ll only find Allez posting anything on Instagram, and very half-assedly at that (don’t forget to like and follow!). But how about this for a call to action: delete your fucking Instagram. Get off TikTok.
So that one day, hopefully one day soon, Allez Skate can do that too.